The Man Who Told A Christmas Story
What I learned from Jean Shepherd.
By Donald
Fagen
Updated Monday, Dec.
22, 2008, at 10:04 AM ET
If you know Jean Shepherd's name, it's
probably in connection with the now-classic film A Christmas Story, which is based on a couple of stories in his
book In
God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash.
He also does the compelling voice-over narration. On Christmas, TBS
will continue
its tradition of presenting
a 24-hour Christmas Story marathon. There are annual fan conventions
devoted to the film-released 25 years ago this Thanksgiving-and
the original location in Cleveland has been turned
into a museum. But long before A Christmas Story was made, Shepherd did a nightly radio broadcast
on WOR out of Manhattan that enthralled a generation of alienated young
people within range of the station's powerful transmitter. Including
me: I was a spy for Jean Shepherd.
In the late '50s, while Lenny Bruce
was beginning his climb to holy infamy in jazz clubs on the West Coast,
Shepherd's all-night monologues on WOR had already gained him an intensely
loyal cult of listeners. Unlike Bruce's provocative nightclub act, which
had its origins in the "schpritz" of the Catskills comics,
Shepherd's improvised routines were more in the tradition of Midwestern
storytellers like Mark Twain, but with a contemporary urban twist: say,
Mark Twain after he'd been dating Elaine
May for a year and a half.
Where Bruce's antics made headlines, Shepherd, with his warm, charismatic
voice and folksy style, could perform his most subversive routines with
the bosses in the WOR front office and the FCC being none the wiser.
At least most of the time.
I was introduced to Shep, as his fans
called him, by my weird uncle Dave. Dave, who was a bit of a hipster,
used to crash on our sofa when he was between jobs. Being a bookish
and somewhat imperious 12-year-old, already desperately weary of life
in suburban New Jersey and appalled by Hoss
and Little Joe and Mitch Miller and the heinous Bachelor
Father, I figured Dave was
my man. One night, after ruthlessly beating me at rummy, he put down
the cards and said, "Now we're gonna listen to Shepherd-"this
guy's great." The Zenith table model in the kitchen came to life
midway through Shepherd's theme music, a kitschy, galloping Eduard Strauss
piece called the "Bahn
Frei" polka. And then
there was that voice, cozy, yet abounding with jest.
He was definitely a grown-up but he
was talking to me-I mean straight to me, with my 12-year-old sensibility,
as if some version of myself with 25 more years worth of life experience
had magically crawled into the radio, sat down, and loosened his tie.
I was hooked. From then on, like legions of other sorry-ass misfits
throughout the Northeast, I tuned in every weeknight at 11:15 and let
Shep put me under his spell. Afterward, I'd switch to an all-night jazz
station and dig the sounds until I conked out. Eventually, this practice
started to affect my grades and I almost didn't graduate from high school.
Listening to Shep, I learned about
social observation and human types: how to parse modern rituals (like
dating and sports); the omnipresence of hierarchy; joy in struggle;
"slobism"; "creeping meatballism"; 19th-century
panoramic painting; the primitive, violent nature of man; Nelson Algren,
Brecht, Beckett, the fables of George Ade; the
nature of the soul; the codes
inherent in "trivia," bliss in art; fishing for crappies;
and the transience of desire. He told you what to expect from life (loss
and betrayal) and made you feel that you were not alone.
Shepherd's talk usually fell into one
of four categories. Fans of A
Christmas Story will be familiar with the basic comic tone
of his Depression-era tales, elaborations on his experience growing
up in Hammond, Ind., a Chicago suburb in the shadow of the U.S. Steel
Works on Lake Michigan. These stories featured his manic father ("the
old man"); his mother (always standing over the sink in "a
yellow rump-sprung chenille bathrobe with bits of dried egg on the lapel");
his kid brother, Randy, and assorted
pals, bullies, beauties, and
other neighborhood types. While the film preserves much of the flavor
of Shep's humor, not much remains of the acid edge that characterized
his on-air performances. In the film, the general effect is one of bittersweet
nostalgia; on the radio, the true horror of helpless childhood came
through.
Then there were the stories culled
from his three years in the stateside Army during World War II (a juvenile
ham radio and electronics freak, he was assigned to the Signal Corps).
The third hunk of material was informed by his adventures in postwar
radio and TV. He seems to have done every possible job, from engineer
to sportscaster to hosting live cowboy music broadcasts. Finally, there
was the contemporary stuff, comments on the passing scene.
In between, he'd sing along to noisy
old records, play the kazoo and the nose flute, brutally sabotage the
commercials, and get his listeners-the "night people," the
"gang"-to help him pull goofy public pranks on the unwitting
squares that populated most of Manhattan. In one famous experiment in
the power of hype, Shepherd asked his listeners to go to bookstores
and make requests for I,
Libertine, a nonexistent novel by a nonexistent author,
Frederick R. Ewing. The hoax quickly snowballed and several weeks later I, Libertine
was on best-seller lists. (Shep and sci-fi author Theodore Sturgeon
eventually codged together an actual
novel for Ballantine Books.
I owned a copy.)
Hilarious as Shep's tales could be,
one sensed a tough realism about life that ran counter to the agitprop
for the Leisure Revolution that the media were serving up in those years.
With the Soviets flexing their muscles and the constant specter of global
nuclear war, the government was going to fantastic lengths to convince
everyone that things were just peachy. From Bert
the Turtle's exhortations to
"duck and cover" in the face of an atomic blast to the endless
parade of new products hawked on the tube by Madison Avenue, Americans
were feeding themselves a line of hooey that was no less absurd than
the most hard-core Maoist brainwash. "Relax, life is good,"
we were told. "Your government and Walt Disney have got the future
well in hand." To skeptical Mad magazine-reading little stinkers like myself,
it was this mendacity on the part of adults that was the most sinister
enemy of all.
Because Shep made it clear he was just
as dazed, enraged, and amused as you were, that he noticed what you
noticed, he established himself as one of a handful of adults you could
trust. (Others were Mailer, Ginsberg, Vonnegut, and Realist publisher Paul Krassner.) Night after night,
Shepherd forged the inchoate thoughts and feelings of a whole generation
of fans into an axiom that went something like: "The language of
our culture no longer describes real life and, pretty soon, something's
gonna blow."
Toward the beginning of the show, Shepherd
frequently read news clippings that listeners, his "spies,"
had sent in. These were mostly odd little fillers he called "straws
in the wind," indicators of the prevailing mood. Once I mailed
Shep an article from our local Central Jersey paper about a guy who,
after being fired for some petty infraction, got loaded and tossed a
Coke bottle through every store window in the local shopping mall. A
couple of nights later, I'm listening to the show and Shep does his
usual bit: "So, this kid sent me a piece ..." and ACTUALLY
READ MY CLIP ON THE AIR! Wham: I had connected. My life as an independent
consciousness had begun. I remember scurrying down to the "TV room"
and announcing this amazing event to my parents. Having always considered
both Shepherd and my uncle Dave to be half-cracked, they were
greatly underwhelmed.
As grateful as I am that Shep was there
for me during those crucial years, my idealization of Shepherd the Man
was not to survive much longer. In December of 1965, I came home from
my first year of college for Christmas break and noticed that Shepherd
was going to be appearing at nearby Rutgers University. On a frosty
night, I drove my used Ford Galaxy to New Brunswick, where I sat on
the floor with a congregation of Rutgers students and watched Shep walk
into the spotlight to enthusiastic applause. He had neat but stylishly
long hair and was wearing a green corduroy sports coat with the collar
up over a black turtleneck T.
Onstage for almost two hours, he had
the young audience in his pocket from the downbeat. But, for me, something
wasn't right. On the radio, speaking close to the mic, he was able to
use vocal nuances and changes in intensity to communicate the most intimate
shadings of thought and feeling, not unlike what Miles Davis could achieve
in a recording studio. Live onstage, he spoke as though he'd never seen
a microphone in his life, trying to project to the back of the room.
Moreover, he blared and blustered like a carnival barker, as if he had
the scent of failure in his nostrils and was ready to do anything to
get the crowd on his side. It was obvious that the guy I thought was
so cool had a desperate need to impress all these people, whom I assumed
to be casual listeners at best.
In truth, even at home, listening on
the radio, I'd noticed a strain of grandiosity creeping into Shepherd's
routines. Apparently, he'd originally come to New York with the idea
of being a stage actor or making it big on network TV. But it's easy
to imagine mainstream producers and network execs being put off by Shepherd's
contrariness and intrinsic marginality. Supposedly, when Steve Allen
retired as host of The
Tonight Show, he'd suggested
Shepherd as a replacement. NBC ended up giving the job to the eccentric
but more cuddly Jack Paar. In any case, as the years rolled by, Shepherd
rankled at being confined to the ghetto of radio and must have come
to see his crown as King of the Hipsters as a crown of thorns.
What I saw that night at Rutgers wasn't
pretty. In the studio, his occasional abuse of the lone engineer on
the other side of the glass could be seen as the petulance of an artist
trying to make things work on the fly. But, incandescent under the gaze
of all those kids, his self-indulgences looked more like straight-up
narcissism and his "hipness" was revealed as something closer
to contempt. By the end of the show, he'd crossed the line between artist
and showman and then some. No longer wanting to meet the great man,
I left before the reception, scraped the ice off my windshield, and
drove home. Anyway, the cool early '60s were over and the boiling, psychedelic
late '60s had begun. Shepherd was no longer part of my world.
Not long ago, in the absence of any
books, films, music, etc., that seemed to give off any light, I started
looking back at some of the things that used to inspire me as a kid,
including some of Shep's old shows, now available on the Internet. Hearing
them almost a half-century down the line has been a trip. Despite the
tendencies I've already mentioned (plus the gaffes one might expect
from a wild man like Shep ad-libbing before the age of political correctness),
much of the stuff is simply amazing: The guy is a dynamo, brimming with
curiosity and ideas and fun. Working from a few written notes at most,
Shepherd is intense, manic, alive, the first and only true practitioner
of spontaneous word jazz.
I've done a little catch-up research:
Shepherd stayed on at WOR until 1977, when the station did a makeover.
His books, collections of stories based on the same material he used
on the air, sold well. He had a successful career on public television
and continued to do his bit on stage into the '90s. And, of course,
there was the collaboration with director Bob Clark on A
Christmas Story. But I'm sorry
to report that the narcissism thing kept getting worse as he got older.
Like a lot of fine-tuned performing
artists, Shepherd increasingly exhibited the whole range of symptoms
common to the aging diva. He became paranoid and resentful of imagined
rivals, whether they were old ones like Mort Sahl or upstarts like Garrison
Keillor. At the same time, he disavowed all his radio work, claiming
that it was just a temporary gig on his way to some fanciful glory on
the stage and screen. He even seemed to want to kill off his childhood,
insisting that all those stories and characters were pulled clean out
of his imagination. Old fans, for whom he had been almost like a surrogate
father or big brother, were often met with derision when they approached
him.
He didn't drink himself to death like
his pal Jack Kerouac or OD like Lenny Bruce but gradually succumbed
to that very real disease of self-loathing and its accompanying defenses.
Disappointed in the way the world had treated him, he retired to Florida's
west coast and died
in 1999.
Although Shepherd almost never divulged
details about his private life, he wasn't shy about giving us a bit
of unflattering self-analysis, as this fragment
of a show from 1957 attests:
Protective coloration is extremely
important in our lives. ... [W]e are in the weeds all the time because
we find it better down here in the weeds. ...
Look at me. ... I am not at all what
I appear to be. ... [T]his is merely a mask ... that more or less covers
up the real me that's underneath. The real me is a saber-toothed tiger.
I couldn't dare go down the street the way I really am. I'd get shot
in five minutes. They'd have me in a wagon with a bunch of Doberman
pinschers.
To an adolescent back then, long before
a therapeutic vernacular had entered the language, this was reassuring
news. It's possible that Shep's greatest lesson to the gang wasn't just
"things are not what they seem" but rather "things are
not what they seem-including me."